Mistakes Families Make with Helpers- Even families with the best intentions can make subtle mistakes with helpers—often without realizing it. Love and kindness alone aren’t always enough—awareness and respect are just as crucial.
In Singapore, domestic helpers play a central role in shaping the comfort, safety, and rhythm of our homes. Yet, despite their quiet dedication, they’re often overlooked or misunderstood.
In this article, we’ll explore the common but often overlooked missteps, so we can grow into more thoughtful and fair employers. If you care, this is your chance to prove it.
1. Assuming They’re “Fine” Without Asking
She smiles. She finishes her chores. She never complains. So she must be okay, right?
Not always. Many helpers stay quiet even when they’re struggling—with fatigue, homesickness, or confusion over what’s expected.
✅ What to do: Check in regularly. Ask how they’re feeling. Not just “Is everything okay?” but “What can we do to make this job easier or more comfortable for you?” A bit of empathy can go a long way.
“She was quiet but very kind. We didn’t know she was homesick until we asked more often. It changed how we talked to her.” — M.T., Singapore employer
2. No Clear Boundaries or Routines
Many helpers end up working round the clock simply because no one ever told them when their day should end.
Blurred lines between work and personal time lead to burnout fast.
✅ What to do: Set clear working hours. Post a daily schedule. Respect rest days and personal space—everyone needs a break to recharge. A well-rested helper is a happier, more effective one.
“She worked nonstop because we assumed she was okay with it. Setting a schedule made all the difference.” — L.F., Singapore employer
3. Overloading Without Realizing It
You add “just one more thing” each week: caring for a toddler, walking the dog, helping your aging parents. Suddenly, her plate is overflowing.
What seems “doable” to you might feel overwhelming to her.
✅ What to do: Review her duties together every few months. Ask, “Is the workload okay?” before adding new tasks. The goal is sustainability—not silent endurance.
“We noticed she looked exhausted, but never said no to more tasks. Now we review everything monthly together.” — C.Y., Singapore employer
These common additions often lead to burnout—just one of the many mistakes families make with helpers.
4. Withholding Praise or Recognition
She may not ask for thanks—but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need it.
A helper who’s doing everything right might feel invisible if the only time she’s noticed is when something goes wrong.
✅ What to do: Appreciate out loud. A simple “You did a great job with the kids today” or “Thank you for always keeping the house so clean” can go a long way. Validation is a quiet motivator.
“When we started thanking her, she became more cheerful and even more proactive. It mattered more than we thought.” — S.K., Singapore employer
5. Treating Her Like an Outsider – Mistakes Families Make with Helpers
She eats separately. She’s excluded from family celebrations. No one asks about her weekend or her life.
Being physically in the house doesn’t mean she feels like she belongs.
✅ What to do: Include her. Small gestures—like saving her a slice of cake or inviting her to sit in for family dinner once in a while—can make her feel seen and valued. Relationships thrive on inclusion.
Exclusion, even when unintentional, is one of the quietest mistakes families make with helpers.
Progress Over Perfection: Learning From Mistakes Families Make With Helpers
Mistakes don’t mean you’re a bad employer. But refusing to grow from them? That’s a missed opportunity.
Helpers play a deep, emotional role in shaping your home. Treating them with dignity, warmth, and fairness isn’t extra—it’s essential.
Let’s build homes where respect is mutual, and love is part of the job description.
📞 Need help finding a helper who fits your values? Let EELIT help you! We’re here to guide you.